I'll preface this list with saying flat out that most of these confused me to no end, but they're also not bad movies. Each of them has some of the most impressively strange and fascinating visual imagery! A lot of them contain disturbing content as well.  Highly recommend that you truly sift through the trigger warnings on these, because the surreal imagery and psychedelic styling of the visuals can deliver an onslaught of graphic content. I enjoyed them anyway, for the most part, but it really will upset and disturb a lot of average moviegoers. I'm sure that disclaimer probably skyrocketed these to the top of some watchlists for those who love to say "it was so disturbing but obvs i'm so tough i could take it." I think it's a little ridiculous if that's why you pick movies, because being able to "out disturb" people are probably not the bragging rights you think they are, but you do you, I guess? Hahahaha! Anyway, please proceed with caution, but I found all of these really fascinating in some way and I'm hoping the right audience finds them and enjoys!

Braid, 2018

Directed by Mitzi Peirone

Trigger warnings: drug use, torture, negative portrayal of mental illness, psychological manipulation, sexual content, simulated sex, murder, flashing imagery, flashing lights, disturbing imagery, child violence

There are a lot of layers to unpack here in the symbolism and storytelling, and I'd go as far as saying yes, it's very feminist and definitely queer and even a little kink-friendly. The visuals are immensely feminine and full of saturated colors, neon lights, vintage and pastel aesthetics... It's a wild ride and a lot to take in and I’m honestly still trying to wrap my head around it all! Yes, that's right. I'm recommending you watch a movie I hardly understood. Listen, there's nothing wrong with enjoying a movie simply because it's a melting mish-mosh of psychedelic surrealism and pretty ladies. We all have our weak spots! Anyway, looking forward to seeing more films by this creative team, and having my mind fully melted once again.

(I rated this highly on Letterboxd because I really enjoyed being confounded HAHAHA!)

Excision, 2012

Directed by Richard Bates, Jr.

Heavy trigger warnings: chronic illness, disability, ableism, mental illness, bullying, child abuse, verbal abuse, medical trauma, abortion imagery, extremely graphic sexual content, dubious consent, extreme amounts of gore and blood, extremely graphic medical procedure, loss of a child, flashing imagery, hallucinations, psychosexual content, ableism, dead animals, corpses, marital distress, cringe worthy surgery

I’m not always so keen on the idea of adult men penning young women coming-of-age narratives, and this one fits that category for me. Some of the teenage angst and awkwardness of social dynamics were darkly comedic and relatable, and other scenes were emotionally charged with sadness and loneliness. But it did still feel a little hyper sexual in some unnecessary fashion.

I appreciate the character building here, creating some pretty fantastic familial relationships and expanding on the different dynamics between each pairing. My favorite and the most empathetic was the close relationship dynamics between the sisters. I loved the camaraderie and support between the two siblings, and how they made an effort to understand one another’s conditions as best as they were able.

I will urge extreme caution here as this is an incredibly visually disturbing movie to watch. There’s a lot of very upsetting content in here, so viewers beware. The dream sequences and hallucinations are truly incredible on the visual effects and costuming. Even though I didn't love the story dynamics that led to all the hyper-bizarre scenes, I was transfixed by the artistic direction and creativity.

It's a strange look at teenage sexuality and femininity, to be sure, and I guess a very intense reference to mental health issues? It's just as perplexing as Braid, but less appealing to my personal tastes. I don't know that it's remotely for everyone, but I feel niche audiences will appreciate the Cronenberg levels of gore + psychosexual content.

Perfect, 2018

Directed by Eddie Alcazar

Sound Sensitive and Epilepsy/photosensitive Warning: This contains an immense amount of flashing imagery and strobing lights that will absolutely destroy your sensory processing. It also contains binaural beats as a soundtrack. May affect some hearing devices and cause pain.

 Trigger warning: flashing imagery, strobing lights, hallucinations, depression, mental illness, death, suicidal ideation, violence and mild gore, self harm and self mutilation

The best synopsis I can give you is that this is an artsy fartsy scifi flick. It revolves around seemingly wealthy, objectively attractive individuals who show up to a strange experimental spa and wellness center, get bizarre surgical modifications that probably aren't remotely approved by the FDA, and things go very badly because that's what happens when you try to avoid responsibility and accountability and try to buy your happiness instead. ~~True beauty comes from within and all that poppycock.

I can’t tell if LSD is a requirement to understand this movie, or if it would make it an even worse experience? (I don't advocate that because of obvious legalities, mind you; that was not an instruction please don't sue me, etc etc etc. But if you can confirm that this helps, I'd also like to know hahahaha!)

I have no idea what the fuck happened for the 90ish minutes but it was visually compelling? I guess??? Somehow it manages to be completely baffling and a real mindfuck and truly disturbing and utterly pretentious horse manure all at once. I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA. It’s just an onslaught of weird images and interesting and really wild music. Loads of super futuristic sets and implied cyborgs or something else very sci-fi? There appears to be some ableist vibes and negativity towards mental illness and physical disfigurement so watch out there, though. I think?

Honestly, if you're looking for something that you can watch with friends for entertainment, this might be up your alley. It would be fun to let this play out for the 85 min runtime and then pretend they're just ~~not hip enough~~~ to pick up what the filmmaker is putting down. I could get behind that in order to get some more entertainment value out of this!

Woodshock, 2017

Directed by Kate and Laura Mulleavy

Trigger warning: flashing imagery, strobing lights, hallucinations, depression, mental illness, death, suicidal ideation, infidelity, violence and mild gore, self harm and self mutilation

Depression: The Movie, but make it fashion! Starring the queen of melancholy: Kirsten Dunst.

Two Fashion Designers decided they'd cast Kirsten Dunst in a feature length commercial for their clothing. Nothing happens for 80mins. Then something happens for 5, and then nothing again. But it’s beautiful to look at and it’s so aesthetic and ethereal. It's dark! But also it's very pastel ala Sofia Coppola vibes. I didn't hate it, but I also didn't love it. I don't regret watching it, though. I guess I just enjoy pretty pictures and looking at Kirsten Dunst being all wispy, melancholy, and super daydreamy. She's a whole sad, hopeless vibe in the best way.

I'm also not remotely embarrassed to admit that after watching this I also went onto pinterest and pinned a bunch of the designers work to some aesthetic boards. Judge me, I don't care!

Horsehead, 2014

Directed by Romain Basset

TW: themes of incest and parental physical abuse, imagery of pregnant women being injured and maimed, disturbing images in general, scenes of giving birth, disturbing human-animal hybrids, demons, possessions, religions and cults, misogyny, child abuse, nonconsensual/dubious consent sexual content, bloody fetuses, general disturbing visuals, violence towards women 

🚨 PHOTOSENSITIVITY WARNING FOR EPILEPTICS ETC: flashing imagery, strobing lights, flashing lights, loud sound triggers, dizzying camera work and angles 🚨

 There is actually a horse head in there, if you're curious. Other than that your guess is as good as mine. Something about depression, anxiety, and strange pseudoscience under the guise of psychotherapy? It's pretentious, I think? If I understood what I did, then it is. 5 stars for looking cool! 3 stars for me not really being able to discern what it’s actually about except the literal “girl lucid dreaming” but still having a good time anyway?